It’s been a little over a week. We reached a point that for Mom’s safety it was time for us to find her some professional care and as I said in my last post, we found that place in Arbor Hills. Mom was very confused as to why she was there when we took her. That morning she had been totally confused and determined to go home. She even gathered bags and packed up most of her stuff and was ready for us to take her. She kept looking for her things, thinking she had left stuff on the front porch and looking out there over and over for things. In some ways that made the decision more bearable for us.
We got to Arbor Hills around 10:30, showed her the room and introduced her to some of the staff. We stayed until around noon when they were seating people for lunch. They placed her with some other ladies for lunch to help her get acquainted. One last hug and we left.
We didn’t go back on Saturday but did go for a visit on Sunday. I told Anita that I felt that I was going to an execution on our way out to the visit. Praise the Lord, when we arrived she was attending the Bible Study and singing. Our visit was pleasant, she seemed content, not sure why she was there, but not begging to leave. We stayed until supper was beginning to be served. That is the way all of the visits have gone. We pick her up from an activity and stay until time to drop her off at another one.
I cannot say that she loves being there, but she is being well cared for, is comfortable and not complaining. I know there have been many prayers for her during this time of transition, and the Lord is good. Here at home, things are beginning to settle down. We are enjoying the quiet but miss Mom in many little ways. It’s going to take time to adjust. When I think about enjoying the new freedom, the ability for all us to be able to leave the house, even in the evenings, not experiencing a hassle getting her to settle down at night, not worrying about her leaving the house, I feel guilty. I feel that I should have been able to care for her better, I should have been more patient, more understanding, more able to handle all the little irritations. I wish I could have done more.
On the other hand, I see the people who work there with so much caring, such kindness for their charges. They offer loving help with seemingly endless patience. I love that they have so many activities for Mom to engage in, I just could not offer her enough to do, and she always felt a desire to do more. Here there is always something for her to do and other people to interact with. She is still settling in, still wonders when she will go home, still asks if being there cost money, and I know these questions may never go away, but I take solace in her not being anxious and knowing she is safe.